Rogers Thoughts
by toscar-eradbecdd
Summary: It is about Roger's thoughts when he is talking or looking or singing to or at Mimi. Ch1 is short because it is that glance at the beginning of the playmovie. So enjoy! Rated T because i felt like it and that is pretty much the whole reason!
1. Chapter 1

**Note: This is what I think that Roger was thinking while being with Mimi this on will be short because when Roger sees Mimi for the first time ( besides when Mimi is dancing) it is that glance after Rent. I made it italics because that is how I think of thoughts. If you like it I will do the other songs. **

**_I didn't know how to pay the rent but I guess that on one else did either, because there we all stood yelling at Benny to let it go. We were just trying to survive._**

_**"Come down here I want to talk to you!" Benny demanded I looked at Mark and he looked at me in resent. **_

**_I looked around the way a child would before they moved away from their house. I knew I would be back there was no doubt about that, I guess that I was just looking at the world that I had chosen for myself. How my dream isn't as easy to make it a reality as it seemed when I was a kid._**

_**I looked around then I looked down to see Benny, the battle that I had to fight today. Before my glance caught Benny's I saw a woman. I don't know why I hadn't noticed her before, but I guess that I hadn't. She looked up at me and caught my glance I never wanted to let go of her eyes. She seemed, like me, broken but trying to fight even though she had already was losing the battle. Somehow I felt comfortable in that glance. A securely sung, I hadn't felt that way since April died.**_

_**I never wanted to let go of her gaze but I had to follow Mark to deal with New York City burdens like paying for the rent, getting food, surviving deadly diseases. **_


	2. Light My Candle

**Authors note: Ok here it is I tried to make it as close to the song/play as I could so I hope you like it! You must review! **

I have groan tired of being lonely, of not living. I want to feel the glory again. I fiddled with a few chords and tried to make harmony on my guitar when _Knock Knock. _It must be Mark, he must have forgotten something I assumed. Mark was kind of forgetful, but he means well.

I slid the huge metal door open and out of reflex said, "What 'd you forget?" But when I opened my eyes I saw the girl that I had seen before talking to Benny. She was thinner than I had remembered her. With doe eyes I simply couldn't ignore. She held up and candle and asked a cute way if I could light it. I'm not stupid I knew it was a trick to come up to the loft and talk to me but I was willing to play along.

"I know you," suddenly where I knew her from wasn't so important. She was shivering. Yeah it was cold but it was bearable. "Your shivering-," "It is nothing they turned off my heat and I am just a little weak on my feet." She made a stupid excuse I felt she didn't want me to know something; she changed the subject asking me once again to light her candle. I gave her my coat because, A it was the gentleman thing to do, B because it took away one of her excuses. Still I played along because I was mesmerized by her. I guess that she realized this because the next thing she said would have made me blush if it wasn't so cold. "What are you starring at," she whispered in a flirty way. "Nothing," I said shyly "Your hair in the moon light." I confessed. What she didn't know was that I was also looking at her fabulous eyes the way that she stood against the window with so much strength.

Changing the subject I asked her again if I knew her from anywhere. I lit here candle giving her the opportunity to leave, I didn't want her to but she could have. She gave me my coat back and began to walk out the door she kind of stumbled. I grabbed her shoulders to steady her, "Can you make it," I stupidly asked. She replied, just more excuses, but she began to spin around. It was cute somewhere along the way she blew her candle out.

"What are you staring at?" She smiled sweetly kind of in embracement I think. But it immediately reminded me of Aprils, then I was reminded of what happened to April and I reminded myself not to get attached. "Your smile reminded me of-," "I always remind people of," She paused she looked as if she realized something slowly she muttered as being afraid, "Who is she?" "She died, her name was April," She seemed relived by what I just said I don't know why just because I know a dead person doesn't mean I don't have a girlfriend does it?

"It is out again," She held up her candle for me light, "Sorry about your friend, would you light my candle?" she asked again. The wax dripped down the candle, "Ow," I didn't know what to say but I figured that it would be best if I said something. "The wax it is dripping," She looked at me like no duh. "I like it between my –" She said trying to change the mood. "Fingers, I figured oh well good night" I interrupted putting the mood right where it was before.

I pushed out the door ready for her to leave so I could wipe the egg off of my face. As she walked out the door she knocked on it in a cute way. I thought that she was playing but she looked as if she was looking for something on the floor. "It blew out again," I mentioned in a brotherly way. "No I think that I dropped my stash" She said still looking on the ground for her lost item. "I know I have seen you out and about when I use to go out. You candle is out" I said remembering. She was becoming frustred quickly and she complained about how mad she was at herself for losing it.

Suddenly she began to crawl on the floor. She really was beautiful. Her hair fell over her face and for some reason it reminded me of a bible story that I learned when I was to young to rebel against my parents. The story of the woman who lost a coin and spent all day looking for it when she found it she had a party. I am not sure that this would fall in the same category but this girl was beautiful.

"They say I have the best ass on all of 14th street is it true?"

"What?" I was confused-.

"Your staring again."

"Oh no," I said out of reflex, "I mean you do you have a nice aaa-," she groaned at my inability to cuss, "You look filmier," I changed the subject.

"Like your dead girl friend." Yea, I thought but other than that I knew her from somewhere. "Only when you smile, but I sure that I have seen you somewhere else."

"Do you go to the cat scratch club, that is where I work I dance "

"Yes," relived to finally find out where she is from. "They used to tie you up," I said thinking out loud.

"It is a living." She said making more excuses. "I didn't reconse you without the hand cuffs." I said almost teasing her. I remember that day I was with Benny, Mark and Collins at Benny's bachelors party.

She asked me to light the candle again to look for her drugs. "Why don't you forget that stuff you look like your sixteen"

"I'm nineteen. But I am old for my age" She shot back, "I'm just born to be bad."

"I once was born to be bad. I use to shiver like that."

"I have no heat I tol-"

"I used to sweat."

"I got a cold."

"Uh, I use to be a junkie."

"Every now and then I like to feel good." On the floor I saw the little white packet. I picked it up and put it in my back pocket. "What is that." I had no idea what to say, "Candy bar wrapper." Smart Roger, I thought, when was the last time I could afford a candy bar.

She seemed to know I was lying I mean how could she not so I sat on the couch making it difficult for her to get her stash. She crawled over me and sat on the arm rest. Out of nervousness I spitted out, "That was my last match," She fired back, "I guess we will just thank God for the moonlight," She said throwing her candle across the room. For some reason that was one of the sexiest things she did while in my dwelling.

"Maybe it isn't the moon at all I hear spittly shooting down the street," Drat my pessimism came out. "Bah humbug, Bag humbug," She groaned. She grabbed my hand. It felt weird touching her. "Cold hands," I said trying to break the silence. No duh I thought, it is NYC no ones hands are warm. It is seven degrees out side and not much better inside. "Your too, bare, like my fathers," She said. I could think of many adjectives to describe my hands but bare? "Do you want to dance," I was stunned, "With you?" it came out of my mouth it was soused to be snobby but it sounded more ignorant.

"No, with my father," she said twisting herself in my arms. I didn't understand this thing with her father. "I am Roger," I said I wanted to kick myself for that one I sounded like a five year old introducing himself. She walked around me in a cat like manner using skills that she had learned at the Cat Scratch. "They call me Mimi," Mimi the name ringed in my ears. She grabbed her drugs out of my pocket. She shock it infrount of my face and left. I just stood there, "Mimi," I whispered to myself.

**Authors note: Ok there it is. So I am debating writing the next one which would be the end of Out Tonight because it was a pain in the butt to write… About the temperatures when Mimi is holding his hand I have no idea if it is that cold in December. But it is in February. Please review that is my favorite part. **


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